


all you knew and all you know

by natelette



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fairy Tale Curses, M/M, Memory Loss, Zine: Cross the Line - A Soriku Fanzine (Kingdom Hearts), fairytale au but it fits into canon lMAO, its so great to get to post this now!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-23
Updated: 2019-11-23
Packaged: 2021-02-26 06:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21529240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/natelette/pseuds/natelette
Summary: When you were born, Sora, an evil witch loomed over your bed and whispered words that are engraved in your heart to this day: “He shall be the most loving, and yet never loved. His love will take his life, and only when he gives up all he knows can he ever know love as equal to his heart.”This curse is all that you have ever known.
Relationships: Riku & Sora (Kingdom Hearts), Riku/Sora (Kingdom Hearts)
Comments: 18
Kudos: 134
Collections: Cross the Line: a soriku zine





	all you knew and all you know

_ When you were born, Sora, an evil witch loomed over your bed and whispered words that are engraved in your heart to this day: “He shall be the most loving, and yet never loved. His love will take his life, and only when he gives up all he knows can he ever know love as equal to his heart.” _

_ This curse is all that you have ever known. _

* * *

When Sora was young, he imagined worlds that his parents dismissed as fantasy. Lands of sand and sun, full of talking animals and exciting weapons. Worlds, most importantly, where he was loved.

Sometimes he still draws these places, in the sanctuary of his own room. Tucked away in a corner are piles of sketchbooks with messily-drawn doodles, rainbow crayon scribbles, a guilty secret that Sora has no one to tell.

The life of a prince is lonely, and none is more so than Prince Sora’s.

“Sora,” his mother chides, and Sora’s head snaps up at the sound. She frowns at him and shame pierces his gut. “Are you paying attention?” she wonders.

“Sorry,” Sora says, scowling at the table below him as if the polished wood could save him from this conversation.

“So, the ball,” his mother barrels on, ignoring Sora’s discomfort. “It will be in two day’s time, and we’ve invited all of the nobility to come and present their suitors. Sora, I know you like to…be  _ bright _ , but please, try to act princely.”

Sora swallows, a harsh, grating sound. “I’ll try,” he promises, but his heart is at his feet.

His mother smiles at him, a cardboard grin. “Thank you, son.”

* * *

Sora’s hands leave marks against the brick buildings as he navigates the narrow streets of the city on his way to the woods. His palms collect a thin coating of red dust, biting into the pads of his fingers. His mother would frown, but Sora can only grin at the feel of it.

Sometimes he wishes he could just live here. It would be easier, he knows. Everything would be – making friends, finding love, finding his happy ending. Everything seems so much harder in the palace. The marble floors are never-ending, and something in him recoils at the pristine cleanliness of white walls.

Here, in the forest, he can run barefoot with the give of the dirt beneath his feet. His mother would scowl if she knew. Her love should be everything, but sometimes it is cloying, a blanket that he can’t escape from as it grows too warm.

Sora sprints to his favorite tree. He rips off his cloak and slides beneath the bark of the great oak, sighing in relief as he lays on the roots. It’s horribly uncomfortable and the ridges dig into his back, but he still can’t imagine moving within the next hour.

Which is why he frowns as the sunlight peeking through the trees is blocked by a sudden shadow overhead.

“Sora?”

Sora blinks and looks up angrily, but his complaint dies in his throat. Because the person standing over him is  _ gorgeous,  _ the most perfect boy that Sora has ever seen. Sora has spent his whole life imagining his true love, even knowing that he could never have it and  _ this _ – this is what he always imagined.

His heart is  _ singing. _

The boy above him does not look quite so enchanted to meet him, though Sora could swear he saw a flash of relief in his green eyes.

“What are you doing down there?” Dream Boy wonders, offering his hand. “I expected to find you in a ton of trouble, but what? You just disappeared to relax for a few days? At least tell us next time. We were really worried, you know.”

Sora has  _ no idea w _ hat Dream Boy means, but he keeps getting distracted from the mess of words to stare at his mouth. It’s…nice.

“…Huh?” Sora says, eloquently.

Dream Boy frowns. “Sora, seriously, come on.”

Sora sits up. “I’m sorry,” he starts, hating the way that Dream Boy’s face shutters from open to wary at just those words. “But I really have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“…Sora?” Dream Boy asks, taking a step back. His eyes are dark now.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Sora affirms. “But I’m sorry, I have no idea what you’re saying. I live here…I’m actually the prince? Though I’d prefer if you didn’t go around yelling that out.”

Dream Boy looks worried – his brows are pinched together, and his hand keeps clenching like he’s searching for something to grab. Or hit. Sora really can’t tell which.

“Oh,” Dream Boy says, and it feels like a stab to the heart.

“Um,” Sora blurts, desperately grabbing for anything,  _ anything,  _ to stop this conversation from falling apart. “What’s your name?”

This only serves to make Dream Boy look more devastated, but he grits his teeth and answers resolutely: “Riku.”

Sora didn’t know that a word could feel like home _ ,  _ but it does. Riku does.

“…Riku.” He smiles, and loves the way it sounds from his lips. He’s never felt the pangs of true love that the storybooks described until now, and he knows he should be nervous about his curse, but – Riku feels like light. “That’s a pretty name!”

Riku turns a lovely shade of red, and Sora can feel his heart beat faster. “…Thanks,” he chokes out. Sora can almost  _ feel  _ the panic slamming into Riku’s heart, a tangible darkness seeping from his pores.

Sora doesn’t want Riku to feel like that, but he doesn’t understand why the boy is so busy staring at him like he’s a ghost, eyes wide to the whites. “The king warned me the world was like this, but I didn’t think…”

“Can we be friends?” Sora cuts him off, and hates how desperate it sounds. He  _ is  _ desperate, but he finds it a bit rude of his vocal cords to be quite so honest about all that. “I could really use a friend here,” he admits, fully expecting Riku to shut him down like everyone else. Instead, Riku surprises him.

“Sure,” he agrees, a genuine smile despite the pain behind his eyes. Sora can’t stand that, but he doesn’t know what to do.

Besides, his heart is too busy inflating with hope at the fact that Riku agreed to be his friend. He’s never had a friend before! No one’s ever treated him like a  _ person,  _ not with the knowledge of his curse so widespread. Nobody wants to be the person to take away everything a prince knows and loves. So no one bothered to get close.

But Riku is standing there, all gorgeous and worried and he agreed to be his friend and Sora can feel in his heart that this is  _ more –  _ he feels like he’s known Riku for years.

This connection, the tenuous flame that lit in his heart when Riku appeared? This is love, he’s sure of it.

Riku doesn’t seem to be feeling it quite the same way – he’s still frowning, awkwardly rubbing at his arm as he glances at their surroundings. “I…need to go.” He says, lost in thought.

“What?” Sora’s head shoots up. “But we just met! I want to get to know you!”

If anything, Riku looks even more pained by these words. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I just…need to figure something out. I need to –“

“Come to the ball!” Sora exclaims, jumping up to grab Riku’s hands. Riku’s eyes widen, mouth parted in a small ‘o’. Sora leans in further, determination lighting up his eyes. “If you have to go, come to the palace at eight, the night after tomorrow. I want to see you there.”

“I-“

“You have to!” Sora whines, and Riku looks taken aback.

“Alright,” Riku concedes, and Sora grins. Riku smiles, a soft, hesitant thing, and despite the sadness still creeping at the edge of his gaze Sora knows he could get drunk on that look. He wants Riku to look at him like that every day. Forever.

_ This must be love,  _ he thinks, and the words etched in his heart burn.

* * *

The sky is a deep grey, the rough waves against his feet a familiar churning in his gut. Sora’s never been to the beach but he somehow knows this scene intimately, can pinpoint the rough feeling of sand between his toes and the angry spray of salt in his eyes as he stares out at the venomous waves.

He blinks through the glare of lightning and startles at the sight of someone in the water, a pinprick against the blackened waves. As he claws his way forward, Sora can see who stands alone in the waves: Riku.

He’s staring aimlessly at the sky, blinking slowly as if waiting for something to happen.

“ _ Riku!”  _ Sora calls desperately. He stares at Sora like a speck, and it’s only through the quirk of his lips that Sora is able to read any emotion in his blank eyes.

“Sora,” Riku says, and holds out an expectant hand. Sora falters in his sprint, buffeted by the waves at his knees, and stares at the offered hand.

He doesn’t know why, but this feels familiar. Ominous.

There are phantom words in his ear:  _ His love will take his life. _

Sora wakes up in a cold sweat. He looks down, only to find his arm outstretched, fingers desperately grasping for a hand that is no longer there.

* * *

Balls are not as fun for nobility as they are for the guests. This is a hard lesson that Sora has learned over the years he’s had to attend. Though some part of him is always hopeful he’ll be swept off his feet, he’s always sorely disappointed. The hosts are more decorations than hosts, really; they sit in their thrones and greet guests coyly, smiles stretched thin.

Tonight is no different, though he had hoped it might be, given that it’s a ball for  _ him.  _ But the prince should only dance with those he hopes to court, or so he’s been told again and again.

So, he sits.

The one benefit of sitting is that he is perched high enough to scan the room, eyes roving for a flash of silver at the doors.

He’s been watching for a while when Riku slinks in. Sora feels his breath catch. It’s not quite what he imagined the entrance of his dream prince to look like, hunched awkwardly, but Sora can’t really find it in himself to care when Riku looks like  _ that. _

His hair is braided and delicately interwoven with pearls, while a high-collared white shirt drapes against his chest and flows down his arms. He’s covered in fewer jewels than Sora’s parents would find appropriate, but the necklace and rings that sparkle against Riku’s pale skin make Sora’s heart stop as he stares wildly at the other boy.

Riku finally makes his way in front of Sora’s throne and bows deeply. He clears his throat. “Uh – hi.” 

It echoes loudly through the hall, and Riku winces.

Sora can’t help the snort that escapes him at Riku’s undignified entrance, and he can  _ feel  _ his parents’ glares on the back of his neck. He ignores them and stands, rushing down the steps to join Riku.

A hush falls over the room; the prince doesn’t stand unless choosing a suitor, after all.

“Hi,” Sora breathes, grinning. He reaches for Riku’s hands and clasps them in his own: a promise.

“Hi,” Riku replies. “I don’t – I don’t really know what to do.”

“That’s okay!” Sora says brightly. “I do.”

Sora walks forward with purpose, pulling Riku along until they stand in the center of the great ballroom. The gold of the chandeliers twinkles off of Riku’s jewelry, and Sora has never seen anyone brighter in his life. Not even the audience watching them with bated breath is enough to dampen his joy.

Gently, Sora rearranges Riku’s hands so they are at his waist. With a sharp jerk of his head, the orchestra begins to play, and they  _ dance _ .

As they float across the space, Sora realizes that the word can’t quite capture what this feels like. He somehow knows in his heart what it feels like to fly, and this is like that, but _ better _ .

“Everyone is watching us,” Riku says nervously.

“It’s okay,” Sora reassures him. “It’s because of me. Dancing… means a lot, here.”

Riku stares into his eyes, searching for an answer to the question he didn’t ask. Sora’s sure he won’t find one, but he seems to realize anyways because his eyes widen, the green sparkling against the light.

“Oh,” he breathes.

Sora almost stops moving from the panic that starts to overtake him. “Don’t worry!” he insists. “It’s custom for dancing to mean that you’re choosing a suitor, but it doesn’t have to.” He wants to choke on his disappointment, but he powers through. “I really don’t care about customs when it comes to you. I just… wanted to dance with you.”

Riku is blushing even more, now, and Sora loves how it clashes with the silver of his hair.

“It’s… okay.” Riku says slowly, and Sora startles. They’re still twirling around the room, and though Sora is doing most of the work it is easier than anything he has ever done before. Riku smiles, hesitant but sure. “I’m okay with what it means.”

Sora brightens. He wants to wrap his arms around the other boy, but he wants to stop dancing even less. They continue to fly across the floor, and as the notes slow and other couples join them, Sora can only see Riku’s bright eyes staring back at him.

* * *

“I’m a little tired,” Sora admits later. He doesn’t know how long it’s been since they started dancing, but he’s never felt so at peace as he does now, his arms entangled in Riku’s.

“Let’s take a break, then,” Riku agrees.

Sora grins, hastily pulling Riku through the crowds, dodging conversations to sneak into the hallway. “I know  _ just _ the place.”

The gardens in the back are his parents’ pride and joy, perhaps even more so than their castle or their crowns. There are moss-covered stone pathways winding through the tall hedges, and small rivers of water sparkle in the moonlight. Statues of past rulers he’s never bothered to remember the names of stand guard at the edges of the grounds. Everything feels magical, and for years, Sora has come out here to get lost in it.

He feels his heart swell when he sees that Riku is just as mesmerized by the sight before them. It’s freeing, to have someone so in tune with your emotions - he never had anyone to share this with before.

Sora maneuvers them over to an iron bench. “So,” Sora starts quietly, facing Riku. He still has that sad tinge to his eyes, but something in them has cleared, and it cheers Sora to see him brighter. “I want to ask you a question.”

“Of course,” Riku says.

“Are you… here to hurt me?” Sora wonders hesitantly. He despises the way Riku’s face darkens at the question. He looks wounded, and it instantly sends a shot of guilt through Sora. “I’m sorry!” he blurts. “I don’t know… how much you know about me, but I’m cursed. It’s all - ‘He won’t ever be loved! And when he does that person will ruin him!’” Sora’s awkward laugh does nothing to hide the strain in his smile, he knows, but he tries anyways. “And I can tell that you’re something special, so I guess I’m afraid now that it will come true.” He doesn’t mention the dream of a stormy beach and a dead-eyed Riku, but the image flashes before him as he twists the fabric of his sleeves in his hands.

Suddenly, Sora’s hands are captured in Riku’s. His hands are cold, but the chill feels comforting.

“I would  _ never  _ hurt you,” Riku says vehemently. “Not - not again.”

“What?” Sora wonders, too caught on the first half to register the second.

“I know we just met,” Riku says, and the words seem to choke him to say. “But I need you to know that you mean so much to me, Sora. I would do anything to save you.”

“…Save me?” Sora wonders. “Save me from what?”

Riku looks caught off guard. “From whatever you need to be saved from,” he finishes lamely.

Sora’s face splits into a grin, and he giggles. “What a knight in shining armor.”

Riku flushes again, and it makes Sora’s heart  _ race.  _ It’s a feeling of triumph, of love, and he knows that this is  _ it _ .

Leaning forward, Sora watches Riku’s eyelashes flutter in the moonlight, and he relishes the way that Riku’s cheeks darken as he moves closer. He breathes out a soft laugh and slips his hands over Riku’s shoulders, nose to nose with the other boy. He stills for a moment, waits for a breath – and then closes the gap between their lips.

Their noses bump together, and Sora is clumsy and inexperienced as he moves his lips against Riku’s, but it feels natural all the same. Riku sighs against his mouth and Sora pulls back with a smile.

Riku’s eyes are lidded, lips parted, and it’s the most gorgeous sight that Sora has ever seen.

“Um,” Riku says eloquently, and Sora laughs. He moves to kiss him again when Riku’s eyes catch the time on the clock tower behind them: a quarter till midnight. Suddenly, Riku jerks back, eyes blown wide. Sora startles, hurt at the expression of shock on his face.

“I…have to go,” Riku says desperately, and Sora’s heart sinks.

“Oh… really? I’m… kind of invested in this.” He awkwardly gestures between the two of them.

Riku is glancing wildly around him like he doesn’t quite remember where he is. “I need to go,” he repeats, and the words cut through Sora like a knife. Riku swings his legs off the bench, but Sora jumps up and grabs his hand.

“Please stay,” he requests, trying to maintain his composure. “I really want this.”

“I can’t, I can’t,” Riku says, and he keeps glaring at the clock, reciting words like they’ve been engraved in his heart. “I can’t stay past midnight on the third day or else I’ll get stuck too, and I can’t afford to do that when I’m the one who needs to – ” he cuts himself off, eyes wide. “You really don’t remember anything?” he wonders imploringly.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Sora replies sadly. “But please, would it really – would it be so bad to stay with me? I don’t know what’s happening, but I can – I can feel it, Riku,  _ you’re  _ my happy ending, and I don’t know why you keep  _ leaving! _ ” He shifts forward, an aborted motion to take Riku’s hands in his own, but the destroyed look on the other boy’s face stops him. 

“Please,” Sora whispers. “You’re all I have.”

These words seem to shock Riku out of his stupor, and he stares at Sora like he’s never seen him before. 

“I’m – I’m  _ what?”  _ he spits, like it’s a curse word. “That’s not…that’s not you. This isn’t right,” he mutters, and it seems to steel his resolve. “I have to  _ go,  _ Sora, I’m sorry. I’ll find a way to fix this,” he promises, and then turns and runs.

Riku disappears like a star blinking out. Sora can feel tears pooling at the edges of his eyes. This is only the second time Sora has watched Riku leave. So why does it feel so familiar?

He wipes at his eyes angrily and breaks into a sprint to follow Riku. He weaves through hedges as they run off the palace grounds and into the forest.

Sora doesn’t know how long he’s been running, but his side is starting to stitch up by the time he grinds to a halt in shock. Riku is on a floating ship, hovering inches off the ground and scattering the leaves with its engine.

“ _ Riku! _ ” Sora screams, voice ripping through the clearing. Riku turns in shock, and it hurts Sora to see the devastation on his face. “Please!” he shouts. “Please stay!”

He watches Riku consider his words, and his heart rises in hope as the boy leans forward from his perch on the side of the ship. It’s slowly rising off the ground, and Sora wants so desperately for it to just  _ stop. _

Riku stills, inhales deeply, and Sora watches his fingers clench with bated breath.“…Come with me,” Riku says, offering his hand. Sora gasps at the image, a parallel to his dream. His heart sinks - is this his curse?

He steps back hesitantly, and Riku’s face darkens. His hair is whipping in the wind and his arm is painfully outstretched as the ship drifts further from the grass – and from Sora.

Sora makes an aborted motion, a step forward, and then falters. His dream flashes in his mind: the stormy darkness in Riku’s eyes. His years of solitude, of being told that love would be his downfall. Logically, he understands what it’s telling him – Riku will take away his life and everything he knows.

Sora stretches and takes Riku’s hand anyways.

The ship lifts off the ground, and they tumble inside, a brightly-lit space full of blinking lights. Something  _ dings,  _ and a clock on the center panel starts flashing midnight.

Sora blinks, and suddenly everything makes sense.

“Oh my god,  _ Riku _ !” he yells, and throws his arms around his best friend. He smiles when he feels Riku’s arms hesitantly come up to wrap around his back. Pushing himself up, Sora stares down at where Riku is lying bewildered below him.

“I remember,” Sora says, and he laughs at the look of utter  _ relief  _ that fills Riku’s face. “I remember!” He cheers again, launching himself back down to hug Riku. He presses a kiss to Riku’s cheek, which makes Riku pull back in shock.

“Are you – are we –“ he starts, and Sora twists to look at him.

“If you want to be,” Sora says.

Riku avoids his gaze. “Look, I know – I know the world there trapped you in a whole new life when you stayed too long. And I don’t want this, between us, to be… something you feel stuck with, because things were different, there. For you. I understand if you want to –“

Sora leans down and swiftly presses his lips to Riku’s, effectively cutting him off. “It’s not the world that made me love you, Riku,” he says confidently. “It just made me realize it. If it had been anyone else, I wouldn’t have thought they were my true love like I was convinced you were. Like I still am, actually.”

Riku’s face grows redder at every word, and Sora loves that he can break Riku’s cool composure so effectively.

The stars are blinking outside the gummi ship, and Sora leans back down to wrap his arms around Riku, slotting his face in the crook of his neck. They lay together on the floor, and Sora hesitantly pokes at the necklace still nestled against Riku’s collarbone. “This looks  _ so _ good,” he admits, and laughs when Riku’s arm comes up to cover his eyes in embarrassment. Unfortunately for Riku, it does nothing to hide the smile shining on his face.

“Kairi went a little wild when I told her about the ball,” he admits. “She wanted me to, uh, ‘look pretty’. Her words,” he flushes.

Sora laughs and fiddles with the jewels. “It worked. Though you’re always pretty, Riku.”

Riku coughs, and Sora laughs against his skin. Nestling his head against Riku’s chest, he thinks back to memories of a life he never lived. “It’s weird,” he admits. “I think my curse actually came true.”

Riku looks at Sora with concern. “What?”

Sora laughs. “It’s nothing bad, not really!” he says. “It’s just – ‘ _ His love will take his life, and only when he gives up all he knows can he ever know love as equal to his heart.’  _ I did give up all I knew. It just wasn’t real.” Grinning at Riku, he presses another quick kiss to his lips, and laughs at the sparkle in Riku’s eyes. “This is.”

**Author's Note:**

> this was written for the soriku "cross the line" zine and i'm so honored to have been a part of it!! it's the first zine i ever got accepted to and not only was it super fun, but the product was absolutely breathtaking - thanks so much to the whole CTL team for your amazing support and hard work!! <3
> 
> SO this is kinda inspired by this obscure ass novel i was OBSESSED with as a kid called "Into the Wild" and i sort of took the very basic ideas that i remembered from that and spun them into some fairytale inspired soriku. anyways i love writing dancing and fairy tale curses and like, one person remembering a relationship that another does not?? *chefs kiss* perfect lit rally perfect
> 
> anyways thanks for reading my extreme self-indulgence!! pls leave a comment i love to interact w yall and hear ur thoughts... <3


End file.
